Lifeism

I am a lifeist.  Yeah, I know it sounds a bit off, but there really is no better way for me to put it.  I’m not a pessimist, I’m not an idealist, and I’m not even a realist (which often has negative connotations).  I put my faith in life simply being as it is, neither good nor bad.  As the term lifeist is still pretty foreign, I’m going to compile a list of characteristics or phrases that I feel best embody the concept of ‘lifeism’.

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

  1. To love is to suffer.
  2. To grow is to suffer.
  3. To live is to suffer.
  4. But, to live is also to rejoice, even in the wake of intense suffering.
  5. This rejoicing also comes with the potential for great change
  6. The strongest loves and the greatest growths are those that coincide with pain.
  7. The sweetest fruit is that which is the hardest to grow.
  8. Life will go on, regardless of your suffering.
  9. Life is in a constant flux and nothing is ever concrete.
  10. Dichotomy is the poison of life.
  11. Life is a series of moments, each one a culmination of all your previous moments and experiences.
  12. As a result of this, there is no truly “right” or “wrong” decision. Merely the best one that you feel able to make.
  13. There is nothing to gain from regret.
  14. Learn from the past, do not dwell on it.
  15. “Those who restrain desire do so because theirs os weak enough to be restrained”
  16. “Do what you will, but harm none”
  17. Acceptance of these principles will allow you to progress

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Again, this is just a loose outline of a relatively new concept.  Well, not necessarily new, but rephrased. Like I stated above, nothing is concrete and these principles have the potential to change at any time. I’m still working through the wording on some of the concepts, but generally I like what I have so far.  I like the idea of having a moral guideline for living life, but one that is defined by your own experiences and past decisions. I’d like to think that our moral guide is constantly flowing and being shaped, never the same.  This guideline is the backbone of how we may express our inner selves.  If we don’t flow and change along with life , we will always be left wanting…will always be dissatisfied.

Lifeism is the only way that I can explain my system of beliefs and ideas.  It makes so much sense to me.  Putting my faith in life- my life and the life that I see around me- and accepting the ever- changing nature of it is the only way I can find any peace.  As much as I detest grouping and categorizing beliefs, feelings, desires, and experiences,  I like having something to grasp…something to apply to myself.  While it still needs a bit of tweaking, I think this can still be applicable to almost anyone. Lifeism: it’s all around us.

On a side note…

d16

The Monogamy Complex

I’d like to start things off with a little blunt honesty. I guess I can be more honest here since it feels like I’m essentially talking to myself. Although, some of the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves so take that as you will. I’ve decided to share a little something else about me because, well, simply because I can.

Oh, really?

Oh, really?

Sometimes I smoke as a band-aid, often out of loneliness or despondency.  Sometimes I smoke when I have an idea that I can’t put into words or when I need to express myself in some fashion. Please refrain from judgement; all of the arguments that have been presented in opposition of it have all been considered. I know the stigma surrounding it, I know what the smoke may do to me, but it helps-really.  The past week and a half I’ve finally seen myself in a normal view for the first time.  I finally realized that I had finally become an adult (and a rather attractive one at that)   I finally started seeing the benefits of my life’s work: I was finally healthy- and not in regards to the size that I currently am- after it it spent years in the making.

I guess that kind of leads me into wanting to discuss relationships.  I mean, I just don’t really get them some days.  The more restrictions you put on someone, the less likely you are to adhere to them. For the second time in my life, I find myself somehow dissatisfied with my current relationship.

I don’t know why for the life of me.  He’s what I’ve always hoped to find; He’s very intelligent,  quite attractive, and –surprisingly- finds me attractive. I mean isn’t that the ideal? To be comfortable and safe designated only for each other? I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want to hear any more about what’s ‘typical’, I don’t have that narrow view of what is considered ‘acceptable love- as long as they are all consenting adults. I don’t want some sweeping romance; that’s just not my bag, man.

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Not my bag.

I don’t feel that I need a relationship; it doesn’t make me who I am.  I’m not afraid to be lonely; it can be a very wonderful thing to have the ability to be comfortable with yourself.   So if I do decide to connect with another human being it will have to be a very good reason.  I guess I was just so psyched at first that someone actually thought me attractive and enjoyed my company.

My previous relationship had finally ended its four-year reign. I had started it when I was 14/15 -ish, basically a child. I was not the same person at all after 4 years.  I wanted to progress, to grow and find a place for myself and to have a fulfilling career, but I was stuck with someone who didn’t share that desire.   I could go on about what all issues we had– family, open-mindedness, less of a desire to grow- but I don’t regret any of it.  How could I?  It made me who I am now- for better or for worse- and it will continue to have some role in how I have developed. I know myself better, and am more at ease for expressing myself and my wants.

I guess, that’s not the case now, though.  I’m not sure what I want to do, or what should do.  I do love him, and I want to continue to be connected with him. I just don’t think I can be with someone who doesn’t want for me the same that I want for myself.  Particularly someone so angry and cynical, which is usually the exact opposite of how I am. Someone who loves guns and being hateful to people just to get a reaction out of them. Despite the acceptance I receive from him, I can’t help but feel that something is off.  I care about other people, I don’t like to see anyone in pain- it feels like it’s tearing me apart as well. So, I want to do whatever is within my power to ease that burden.  I don’t know if this is something that I am ever successful at, but I want to try.  At any rate, I have previously had to make a decision that was entirely in my self-interest.

Yes!

Yes!

As difficult as that was, I finally put my own desires before my fear of hurting someone.   I want to be able to connect with more people.  I connect best with people I like, by getting close to them ( physically and mentally). Really, you may have that type of connection with several people in your lifetime. Are you going to ignore anyone else that you care about that much? No, not just simple attraction, but a desire to really know that person. True empathy with another  comes so rarely, that shouldn’t we savor it while it’s within our grasp?  It’s not one of those things that generally happens every day.  Again, -age, size, race, gender- it’s not like you do yourself a service when you repress how you feel towards another person.  It seems like that would be obvious, but so many people do it-myself included. This connection is like a soft breeze that ignites the sparks within us. When that breeze begins to stir, we should let it wash over us, not turn our backs to it.

Maybe I’m just crazy, though.   Maybe this doesn’t really make sense when I explain it.  Just try to make the most of the limited time you have in this universe. We should all be free to  connect to whomever we want to, in whatever manner we so desire.   Married or single, monogamous or not, we should just do what makes us happy. Yes, I am a believer in polyamory- the ability to have a deep, loving connection with more than one individual.  I don’t, however, feel that it should come at someone else’s expense. “Do what you will, but harm none” is, in nutshell, my philosophy.

Whew, that was long-winded, much more than what I expected. I’ve just been so overwhelmed lately, and I discovered that writing is such a release for my inner-self – some way that I can express it. I want to improve my ability to perceive to world around me and to elevate the level of eloquence in which I can describe it. However, I did detect a severe lack of Alan Rickman in this post. Too severe for my taste, so here you go!

I came.

I came.