Hot and Cold: Emotional Disconnect Between the Genders


I’ve recently contemplated a certain trend when it comes to relationships nowadays.  Men and women both have these labels and characteristics attached to them based on their sex. Men are emotionally distant, uncommitted, not family-oriented, and fickle.  Women are clingy, emotionally motivated, jealous, and family-focused. These stereotypes are a result on how men and women differ in the way to react to relationships and emotions. I just want to give my suggestions on why women are considered possessive and crazy-while men are unemotional and insensitive- and how these relationships are destined for failure.

While men often get complacent and satisfied at one level of the relationship, women often feel insecure.  They feel most secure at the beginning phase of a relationship, when the excitement overpowers the reality. Therefore, in order to feel confident, they want the relationship to remain in that “honeymoon” like stage- ex. going out often, cuddling, having long talks, making doe eyes every second.  As the man sinks into the secure mode, the woman tries to cling on the overly lovey elements, she comes off as clingy or annoying to the man.  This dismissal leads to women to feel even more insecure and emotional, causing outbursts.  This further confuses the man, and begins an endless cycle back and forth until the relationship collapses or they obtain help of some sort. At the same time, the woman may need further validation.  Like a drug, she needs more and more collateral in the relationship, more assurance of the man’s commitment.  This is probably why women are likely to want to move-in, get married, or have children much sooner than the man.  They subconsciously feel that they have a time limit on the relationship.

However, it is not the fault of the man, nor is it the woman to blame. We are simply wired differently, progress on different levels in different areas. Women need more frequent validation about the relationship and commitment and men simply don’t.  They feel as if they are happy at the level they are and generally cannot understand the woman’s concern. Obviously this isn’t sex-specific.  Men can be the ‘clingy’ ones and women can be ‘emotionally detached’ and to varying degrees. This is simply an observation on a particular trend and my critique of it. Countless couples fail to recognize this occurrence, and even less consider its origin. If two people, no matter the gender, cannot find a compromise between these levels, the relationship will inevitably fail. All couples experience this, but not all successfully fix it. The dealing of this issue is entirely up to you.  Nothing is concrete in the matters of human emotions, and everyone is different. Just something to consider, recognize, and prevent.


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